Vegan? What’s up with that?

Why the Sam Hell would anyone want to be a vegan? I recently came across someone who ordered lunch and commented she was a vegan. I wasn’t sure what exactly what that is or what levels of veganism there are, so the question was asked what she couldn’t have. No meat of course, no milk, no cheese, etc. O.K. I thought, that leaves dirt, wood, plastic, or a wide variety of things that are under my car seat that I am sure are not listed on the element chart.

I looked it up and vegans don’t eat anything with a face or any products from them especially ones kept on a farm. So now the list gets smaller. No honey, no leather, no wool, no silk and the list goes on. Unbelievable! God created Adam and Eve and said stay away from one tree, not; don’t eat anything with a face.

What are the byproducts going to do to you? I happen to have sheep on my farm and they are the most spoiled animals you could imagine. They don’t do anything all day except eat, walk around a pasture, and sleep. What is a silk worm going to do without an avenue to express creativity? There are going to be long lines of unemployed worms, bees, sheep and a host of animals that love to do what they do.

If you have to think about animal’s faces, look at it this way. Lions chase down zebras from behind, to avoid eye contact. Tigers always get you from behind, why? So they don’t have to see your eyes bulge and hear you scream “Ah, shit!” Just eat your hamburger from behind, enjoy your steak by running after it and pouncing on it. Or I got another idea; Sharks close their eyes just as they clamp down on your sorry ass, why? Probably not to get blood stinging their eyes but it could be so they won’t have to see you. So enjoy the hot dog or beef sandwich with your eyes closed. Think of it as juicy tofu and seaweed sandwich.

Come to think of it, I was getting inspired one day at a Pow-Wow when I talked to someone about creation and feelings and it was brought up that plants, even without a nervous system, talk to each other. They follow the sun to get energy and send off pollens and communicate in ways we don’t. These vegans are munching on a plethora of little helpless creatures that can’t even run away. Alfalfa and bean sprouts by the millions are getting hunted and devoured by cruel vegans. Beets and carrots are being ripped from the earth, naked and humiliated by the billions to satisfy some deranged yuppie, vegetarian…Holy Crap! It’s even in their name.

See what I mean, to everyone: Let’s eat everything in the same manner and not be so dam righteous about this or that. That’s why it all was created in the first place. If you don’t eat something it should be that you don’t like the taste or it’s slimy or your brother forced it down your throat as a kid and the son of a….sorry that’s a story for a later time.