Mis-heard lyrics

It is embarrassing to admit that you thought the lyrics were actually different than you have always thought a song was even after years of hearing it. It is especially embarrassing that it makes perfect sense with the actual lyrics and not the ridiculous ones you thought it was.

 

Now I know that some singers use a bit of emotion behind their singing, Eddie Vetter is a perfect example; Evenflow is a song is not made to be understood. It’s just made to catch a word here or there, or even an audible syllable. It’s just pure raw emotion not to be understood anything more than an important instrument or ‘tool’ to emphasize the meaning and feeling of the song. What I am getting at is the true lyrical faux pa as you probably did in the past, come on, I know you did. Here are a few that I did. I hope I’m not the only one that will admit it.

 

Band                             what I ‘heard’                                          actually lyrics

 

ACDC                     Dirty Deeds done with sheep              dirty deeds done dirt cheap

 

R.E.M.                     Let’s pee in the corner,                          that’s me in the corner,

                                 Let’s pee in the spotlight                      that’s me in the spot light

 

Jimi Hendrix             ‘xcuse me while I kiss this guy         ‘xcuse me while I kiss the sky

 

K.D.Lang                  can’t stand gravy                                  Constant Cravings

 

Pretenders                 left my pants behind me                    left my past behind me

 

 

Now these are just a few but you get the point, and belive me I left to real embarrassing ones off.

 

Leave comments with your favorite mis-heard songs and I wont laugh……much.

 

 

Peeeece, Cazek

My New Fangled Phone

I have to admit that I am somewhat of a gadget guy. I like gadgets because they’re fun. My recent gadget buys have been somewhat anemic as of late. I have been exposed to a few things that have satisfied my curiosity. If I’m not trying to create the next best thing in electronic accordions, I’m reading about the latest gadgets being introduced to our ever changing economy. Anyone remember when 8-tracks were the new thing? The only problem with those magnificent devices was the pause in the middle of songs when the 8 track had to change tracks. It really put a damper when rocking out to the Scorpions in the 1974 Chevy Nova back in High School.

The latest edition to my gadget collection is an iPhone. This thing made me realize that maybe I’m not as young and hip as I thought I might be. OK, I know I’m not hip but I did start to feel my age a bit when the kid was helping through the process of setting this thing up. A good friend of mine, Tracy, told me a story about how old people struggle with new technology, even people who are in the tech business. She told this hilarious story a developer who was trying to teach her how to use an application to setup an install program. Tracy being younger than the programmer has no fear of clicking things and moving along with the application without having to read every little detail of every stupid, “Click Next” message the application was sending her. The programmer guy was freaking out because she was blowing through this application without much help.

Old people tend to be too careful around new technology and this is where my story begins. When I got this phone the kid showing it to me was blowing through the features really quickly because, as he said, “It’s just like an Apple interface and….” . Then he would move on to another application on the phone and I was still trying to understand what he just showed me. Never the less, I just shook my head in agreement and let him roll on. I figured I would be able to figure it out myself and I didn’t want to look like his grandfather trying to set the time on his VCR.

When I got home I spent about an hour reading the ridiculously easily writing instructions which mostly said, go to our web site for help. Now I’m almost comfortable with the phone and I don’t look like a feeble minded old man in the eyes of a kid who I will never see again. I am sure I will the butt of many jokes to come. “Dud I sold this old guy an iPhone and I think he’s retarded.”

But now I can listen to music, see the weather and make calls from one device. Now, if I can only get songs onto it, I’ll be in good shape. Maybe I’ll call my friend Tracy and ask her how it’s done.

Pavel

County Fairs

County Fairs

Well, quite the contrast to Pavel’s high faluten fancy pants eating establishments is the county fair. I don’t think there is one thing that is legally considered ‘food’ at any fair. I took my boys there and they naturally wanted to eat everything. The corn dogs are just camouflaged meat left over’s from the slaughterhouse. I was on my fifth one when I thought I seen an eye in one. The elephant ears are just bakery remnants with a ton of sugar that came from a closed down candy factory. They are so hard to eat, I had to choke down my tenth one.

My younger son actually showed me why some of the food items are the consistency they are. He made a record 21 straight tilt a whirl rides before puking into the wind while spinning. As I seen him projectile vomit into the hot, stagnant air, it actually solidified and landed as a pork chop on a stick. There and then, proceeded to be a brawl between the one armed, balloon popping man and the overly tattooed, gargantuan, lady sumo wrestler that ran the pick a duck game.

When his color came back to a human tone we got to the entertainment tent, not to say the fight that we just witnessed wasn’t enough. They had a karaoke match so being the ham that I am, I joined. I asked if they had any GPARTN songs and I got rather upset when the guy laughed. So I did a punk version of Midnight at the Oasis when I looked up and the crowd of 200 seemed to all disappear, they must have been moved to the point of stuffing themselves with the fair cuisine.

The only person in the stands was a kid who I think passed out with excitement from being in my presence.

Over Zealous Fan

Or maybe he had a few too many breaded pickles on a stick.

Peeze…Cazek

Does it smell like butt in here or is it me?

I took my girlfriend to an organic restaurant in Boulder last weekend. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting one these places in Boulder. They have the added benefit of overcharging you for everything so it’s never a cheap date. When I pay 12 bucks for an order of onion rings I want them to be fed to me by a GPATRN groupie, needless to say that didn’t happen.

On this particular occasion I decided to step out of my comfort zone and order a steamed vegetable bowl with shrimp. After 30 minutes of staring at the wall and trying to figure out why having basil on onion rings is so expensive, my food arrived.

When the waiter put the bamboo bowl in front me, he lifted the lid, said “There you go? and walked away. He left all I could think was that bastard crop-dusted me with a nasty fart. My girl friend ordered crisp duck which turned out to be a duck breast that was almost cooked. I thought this was going to be a big problem because she loves to cook chicken until it’s really dead. However, she tried it and liked it.

I bit into a shrimp and thought, that bastard didn’t crop dust me, he shit in my bowl and disguised it as shrimp. I spit out the half chewed shrimp and took a drink of my 4 dollar lemonade. Then, like everyone who has terrible food, I looked to my girl friend and said, “This shrimp tastes like shit, try it.” Why do people do that? She smelled it and said, “It smells shrimpy that’s all.” She didn’t taste it.

I decided not to eat the shrimp and to concentrate on the vegetables. Everything else was fine except for the lettuce; it tasted like ass also. So I didn’t eat the shrimp and the lettuce. About an hour and half later were out of the place I was 70 bucks lighter.

I asked someone at work about the place and he said, “You’ve got about a 70% chance of getting a good meat at the Sunflower.

I’ve had better food on the road when Guy Pulaski and The Roaming Nomads were just starting out. Some of those truck stops have great food.

I guess you can’t judge the food by the price. Next time, were heading to a Mexican dive for some real food.

Pavel