When we first started Guy Pulaski it was quite an adventure. The first show we ever
played was at a carnival near a Russian army base. We were the first band to take the stage that day. The carnival was packed, but no one was listening to us when we started to play. After about the third song, we had about 400 people gathering in front of the stage starting to dance. Then out of nowhere, what some people called a mosh pit started.
Cazek later called it “The Polka Pit”. When we started to play “Beer Makes Me Pee Polka”, all hell broke loose. There was blood and spit flying everywhere in the Polka Pit of Death. Old ladies were using babushkas as turnakits to stop people from bleeding to death. When the police finally came, 20 people dead and 47 people were injured. 3 people were hit by lightning on the towers despite our calls of “get off the towers, people, stay off the towers!”
The owner of the carnival had to pay off the KGB so he wouldn’t go to jail. He had no money to pay us, so he said we could have any sausages left in the kitchen. I was so angry I yelled “I can’t pay my rent with sausages”! But I was wrong. My landlord, Stan Faceoff,
gladly took 10 and a half pounds of sausages and later invited me over to play “Hide the Sausage”.
Then at another show, we opened for an all Chinese girl rock band named “Miso Crazy”. The owner could only pay us with a couple cases of beer. We finished the beer before
the end of the night, and the next morning, we woke up in the alley naked with our instruments spread all over the place. Cazek had his junk stuck in his clarinet. Some people describe his playing like he’s making love to his instrument, so, maybe he wanted to try it out for himself or maybe he just got cold.
Then there was a time we played at a sexual awareness concert and the promoter had us play wearing just neon condoms. That’s where I find out I was allergic to the color yellow. I had a rash for two months.
That’s a few stories that I remember. I’m sure the other guys have their own stories to tell.
Edeck
